Relationships are like cars...
Jesus, I love you so much and I thank you for loving me and the people who are reading this. Jesus for those who are single out there I just ask that you would bring to them the men and women of God that you want them to marry. I ask that you would give them peace that you are in control and help them find you in their seasons of singleness. Let this season be an opportunity for them to do great things for You. And for those who are already married Lord I just ask that you would bless them as well. Help them become closer to you as a couple. And let them be a testament to your faithfulness and goodness to their single friends. Let those around them see You in their marriage. Thank you for your faithfulness and that You have good things in store for us. Let this message be a blessing to those who read it and may they come to know You in a more intimate way. Let them know the extent of your love Jesus. We love you so much Jesus. Amen.
My dad has always had good taste in cars. As far back as I can remember we have always had cars that were unique. So of course when I first got my driver’s license I was excited to drive the car he had for me, a 1980 300CD Mercedes Benz. For those of you who are not familiar with Mercedes cars, this was a somewhat rare two door coupe with a sunroof. It wasn’t new, but it was a Mercedes and it was mine. I loved that car and was proud to drive it. But it would not be mine forever. One day I was hit by oncoming car which ruined the front side of my Mercedes allowing it to no longer run. I was crushed. I had just got a cd player in the car and I really loved that car.
So the search was on to find another car. My dad and I were both somewhat desperate to find me something when my dad showed me an ad in the auto trader for a 1980 Mercedes 300TD (yeah so my family really enjoys driving Mercedes). So we got in the car and went to check it out. The car was a white station wagon and I fell in love with it immediately as it had the exact same interior as my old car. We took it for a test drive and as my dad drove it he noticed that it did not shift gears that well. He thought it was not a big deal and that it could be fixed. So we bought the car.
The car ended up being a lemon. My dad spent over $3,000 trying to get it to run properly. At times it ran fine, but then other times it would not start or something would go wrong. Eventually my dad realized he had to sell the car and so he put it on the market. In less than a month the car sold. Now it was time to search for another car.
I really missed having my own car and it was especially hard to not have a car in college at times. So like my dad I searched the auto trader almost everyday looking for something. At first I was only looking at Mercedes or BMWs. Then my dad started showing me some cool Volkswagons, a Nissan 300ZX, and even a Buick Riviera. I started broadening my options. I realized that I really only needed a car that was relatively inexpensive as well as one with good gas mileage. But we never really found anything that worked out. It seemed like we looked for a car for forever. I kept praying off and on about God bringing the right one into my life.
One day I was feeling frustrated after talking to my dad on the phone about cars and still not finding one. I gave the situation to God and ended up laying on my couch praying. I got a phone call and my dad called me. He said he was going to buy my neighbor’s Ford Tempo and paint it red. My heart almost failed, but I told him that was fine because it was just a car. Thank God my dad was kidding. He had found a 1991 Honda Prelude for sale in the paper. He went to check it ou and ended up buying the car. I never even dreamed about owning a Honda, but the car was perfect for me. It was a two door coupe and cherry red on the outside. It even had a sunroof and a moon roof and of course gets great gas mileage.
The reason why I tell this story is because I thinking finding a car is a lot like finding a good man (or woman). It is one of those things where if you are desperate you will end up many times making a big mistake and not paying attention to important details that may be warning signs. That is what happened with my white station wagon. We were too desperate to pay attention to the fact that the car was not running as well as it should have. I think that at times it can be easy to want to be in a relationship so badly that you go for the first person that is even remotely interested in you. And sometimes it works out to be ok, but that is not always the case.
My dad told me that when people buy a car they usually buy it based on their emotions. What he meant is that people don’t usually buy a car because it is necessarily practical as much as because they like the body style or some of the features. And I think when we look for people to be in dating relationships we do the same thing. I remember at first only looking for luxury cars when I first started looking for another car because it was an emotional decision for me. I was used to driving Mercedes (so I am or was somewhat of a car snob). But then I started realizing that I didn’t necessarily need a luxury car. It was just a car.
The reason why I point this out is not to say that you should lower your standards for the person you want to date, but rather don’t make the decision based solely on emotions. For example, if you asked me what my dream guy would look like I would say that he would be at least 6’0 tall and have big blue eyes. He would also have some natural curl in his hair and big, strong arms. But if I only dated guys that met those specific requirements then I would be missing out on a lot of great guys. Take for instance my friend Brandon. He is a really sweet and wonderful guy, but just because he is not 6’0 tall does not mean that I should overlook him.
With that in mind, I had an epiphany last night. I told God all the qualities that I wanted in a man and I realized something. I told God what I wanted, but I never really asked Him or took into consideration what He wanted. I realized that the man that I think would be perfect for me, may not necessarily be the man God thinks is perfect for me. So as I go through this bittersweet season of singleness I have been asking God to prepare and bring to me the man He wants me to have. But I did make one request of God. I asked God for only one attribute that my future husband may have and that is that he be a man after God’s own heart. David (from the Bible) was called a man after God’s own heart and that is what I want my husband to be. It doesn’t matter if he has brown eyes or blue eyes or if he is 6’5 or 5’6. I just want a man who loves the Lord with all of his heart, soul, mind, and strength. And I want the man God wants for me in His timing and not in mine.
This was not an easy revelation for me to come to. I would rather pursue the men that I think would be good for me than wait on the Lord. But I am learning to trust Jesus more and more each day. Like I said in the beginning, my dad has always had good taste in cars. And he would never let me drive something that didn’t have some sort of appeal or uniqueness about it. And I really believe that the Father is the same way. He is not going to bring to me some man who I am not even remotely attracted to. It says in Psalms, “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” I trust that Jesus will find a wonderful man out there for me. And believe me, having Jesus look for the man instead of me takes a lot of stress off me as well as protects me from getting my heart broken.
So for all the single people out there who sometimes long so badly for a significant other that they feel like their heart will break, I offer some hope. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.” Trusting Jesus is the hardest thing to do, but He is loving and He really does have our best in mind. Don’t lose hope. God knows the desires and longings of your heart. He is not ignorant nor apathetic to your pain. He is just waiting for you to trust in Him.
My dad has always had good taste in cars. As far back as I can remember we have always had cars that were unique. So of course when I first got my driver’s license I was excited to drive the car he had for me, a 1980 300CD Mercedes Benz. For those of you who are not familiar with Mercedes cars, this was a somewhat rare two door coupe with a sunroof. It wasn’t new, but it was a Mercedes and it was mine. I loved that car and was proud to drive it. But it would not be mine forever. One day I was hit by oncoming car which ruined the front side of my Mercedes allowing it to no longer run. I was crushed. I had just got a cd player in the car and I really loved that car.
So the search was on to find another car. My dad and I were both somewhat desperate to find me something when my dad showed me an ad in the auto trader for a 1980 Mercedes 300TD (yeah so my family really enjoys driving Mercedes). So we got in the car and went to check it out. The car was a white station wagon and I fell in love with it immediately as it had the exact same interior as my old car. We took it for a test drive and as my dad drove it he noticed that it did not shift gears that well. He thought it was not a big deal and that it could be fixed. So we bought the car.
The car ended up being a lemon. My dad spent over $3,000 trying to get it to run properly. At times it ran fine, but then other times it would not start or something would go wrong. Eventually my dad realized he had to sell the car and so he put it on the market. In less than a month the car sold. Now it was time to search for another car.
I really missed having my own car and it was especially hard to not have a car in college at times. So like my dad I searched the auto trader almost everyday looking for something. At first I was only looking at Mercedes or BMWs. Then my dad started showing me some cool Volkswagons, a Nissan 300ZX, and even a Buick Riviera. I started broadening my options. I realized that I really only needed a car that was relatively inexpensive as well as one with good gas mileage. But we never really found anything that worked out. It seemed like we looked for a car for forever. I kept praying off and on about God bringing the right one into my life.
One day I was feeling frustrated after talking to my dad on the phone about cars and still not finding one. I gave the situation to God and ended up laying on my couch praying. I got a phone call and my dad called me. He said he was going to buy my neighbor’s Ford Tempo and paint it red. My heart almost failed, but I told him that was fine because it was just a car. Thank God my dad was kidding. He had found a 1991 Honda Prelude for sale in the paper. He went to check it ou and ended up buying the car. I never even dreamed about owning a Honda, but the car was perfect for me. It was a two door coupe and cherry red on the outside. It even had a sunroof and a moon roof and of course gets great gas mileage.
The reason why I tell this story is because I thinking finding a car is a lot like finding a good man (or woman). It is one of those things where if you are desperate you will end up many times making a big mistake and not paying attention to important details that may be warning signs. That is what happened with my white station wagon. We were too desperate to pay attention to the fact that the car was not running as well as it should have. I think that at times it can be easy to want to be in a relationship so badly that you go for the first person that is even remotely interested in you. And sometimes it works out to be ok, but that is not always the case.
My dad told me that when people buy a car they usually buy it based on their emotions. What he meant is that people don’t usually buy a car because it is necessarily practical as much as because they like the body style or some of the features. And I think when we look for people to be in dating relationships we do the same thing. I remember at first only looking for luxury cars when I first started looking for another car because it was an emotional decision for me. I was used to driving Mercedes (so I am or was somewhat of a car snob). But then I started realizing that I didn’t necessarily need a luxury car. It was just a car.
The reason why I point this out is not to say that you should lower your standards for the person you want to date, but rather don’t make the decision based solely on emotions. For example, if you asked me what my dream guy would look like I would say that he would be at least 6’0 tall and have big blue eyes. He would also have some natural curl in his hair and big, strong arms. But if I only dated guys that met those specific requirements then I would be missing out on a lot of great guys. Take for instance my friend Brandon. He is a really sweet and wonderful guy, but just because he is not 6’0 tall does not mean that I should overlook him.
With that in mind, I had an epiphany last night. I told God all the qualities that I wanted in a man and I realized something. I told God what I wanted, but I never really asked Him or took into consideration what He wanted. I realized that the man that I think would be perfect for me, may not necessarily be the man God thinks is perfect for me. So as I go through this bittersweet season of singleness I have been asking God to prepare and bring to me the man He wants me to have. But I did make one request of God. I asked God for only one attribute that my future husband may have and that is that he be a man after God’s own heart. David (from the Bible) was called a man after God’s own heart and that is what I want my husband to be. It doesn’t matter if he has brown eyes or blue eyes or if he is 6’5 or 5’6. I just want a man who loves the Lord with all of his heart, soul, mind, and strength. And I want the man God wants for me in His timing and not in mine.
This was not an easy revelation for me to come to. I would rather pursue the men that I think would be good for me than wait on the Lord. But I am learning to trust Jesus more and more each day. Like I said in the beginning, my dad has always had good taste in cars. And he would never let me drive something that didn’t have some sort of appeal or uniqueness about it. And I really believe that the Father is the same way. He is not going to bring to me some man who I am not even remotely attracted to. It says in Psalms, “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” I trust that Jesus will find a wonderful man out there for me. And believe me, having Jesus look for the man instead of me takes a lot of stress off me as well as protects me from getting my heart broken.
So for all the single people out there who sometimes long so badly for a significant other that they feel like their heart will break, I offer some hope. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.” Trusting Jesus is the hardest thing to do, but He is loving and He really does have our best in mind. Don’t lose hope. God knows the desires and longings of your heart. He is not ignorant nor apathetic to your pain. He is just waiting for you to trust in Him.
posted by Ashley @ 10:44 AM
1 Comments:
At August 21, 2005 1:20 AM,
alexa18myra said…
damn good blog, check out mine http://juicyfruiter.blogspot.com, comments always welcome!
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