Arms of Love

I went to see the movie the Village with my friends Chelsea and David last year. I hate scary movies, but I went so I could spend some quality time with my friends. I was freaked out even before the movie started and my friend David made the unfortunate, almost deadly, mistake of sitting next to me in the theater. Suffice to say he had never seen a movie with me or else he would have made Chelsea sit in the middle.
The prospect of an unknown, evil creature wandering around a village frightened me and it was nice that my friend David was right there in case I got scared. Of course I about jumped out of my seat at every scary part of the movie. Unfortunately for David, I also unexpextedly tried to grab his hand. This would not have been a problem had he not had his hand close to his mouth and had I not contorted his arm in ways similar to aikido moves. After the first contortion of his hand he made a wise decision and placed his hand on his leg in case there was another outbreak of fear.
But when I took David's hand I felt safe. For those of you who do not know David he is 6'4 and is very strong. I imagine that not a lot of things scare him or can hurt him. As long as he was near nothing could hurt me because he would protect me.
I have never seen Jesus although I beg Him everyday to just allow me to hug Him. After watching that scary movie with my friends I heard of something that was even more frightening. The thought of not spending time with God everyday. I had asked my sister and mom during Christmas Break if they spent time with God everyday and their answers were that they did not always do so.
I do not relate this so that I can judge my mother and sister, but rather because to me not spending time with Jesus is worse than watching a scary movie. If Jesus were in physical form with my everyday I imagine Him being big and strong like my friend David. My friend David was there with me to protect me during all the scary parts of the movie. And my Jesus is with me throughout the day to protect me and hold my hand. He gives me the strength I need to get through each day. Nothing can make my Jesus stop loving me or nothing is so great or powerful in my life that Jesus cannot have control over it.
In many aspects my faith is like that of a child's. And the one vision of Jesus that I hold onto dearly is one of His big, strong arms wrapped around me. The closest thing I have to knowing how that is in the physical realm is by hugging my friend David. One day I told him that when I hugged him it was like hugging Jesus. At least once a day I ask Jesus to hold me. I love crawling up into His arms and I know that He loves it when his little girl comes to just be with Him.
His loving arms are such a comfort to me. The other day I was longing so badly for Him. I went into my room and read the Word and begged Him to hold me. I knew He was there. When doubt tried to invade my heart I knew that He was there because it was as though He stood near my bedside and if I was quiet enough I could hear his breath. Later that night I went into my room again and was listening to a song by Hillsong. The chorus goes, "so close I believe you're holding me now in your arms I belong, you'll never let me go." I started breaking down and crying and the only word that I could muster up was the name of Jesus. I layed upon my floor with tears flooding my face crying out His name.
The only thing that gets me through the day sometimes is the knowledge of Jesus holding me in His arms. It is something that I am beginning to look forward to each day. One of my friends, I believe it was Justin, told me once that he hoped to die after I did because he knew that when I got to Heaven I would give Jesus an "Ashley hug" and probably never let go of Him. But if you know me you know that I get excited around people and to be perfectly honest I cannot wait until Heaven to hug Him. So I search on earth looking for my Jesus and pleading with Him to see His face. I do not need to hug Him in order to believe Him for I know that He exists despite the fact that I have never seen Him. But when I do find Him I am going to do exaclty what my friend Justin thought I would and when I hug Him I will never let Him go.